My Son Isn't Gay…He's Just Like Me!

Why do so many men fear that their son (especially if he's an only son) might grow up to be homosexual?

Mr T has often expressed concern that Boywonder might grow up with gay tendencies, because he is constantly in the company of his four sisters, and playing dress-ups (in women's clothing as much as men's). I believe the fear isn't really about the son's masculinity, but their own, and today, Boywonder gave Mr T something to think about.

Tomboy, Boywonder and Miss Flora spent the morning rummaging through the dress-up box. Like most children, their favourite costumes are the ones that mimmick adults, so it wasn't surprising to see Tomboy and Boywonder wearing large jackets and neckties with handbags slung over their shoulders.

Boywonder asked me to help do up the buttons on his jacket and adjust the old Woolworths scarf around his neck that Uni Student used to wear to work. Once finished, he informed me that he was 'going to work'.

A little confused about the mix of male and female clothes and accessories, I asked, 'As a man or a woman?'

'As a man,' he replied indignantly. 'I have a handbag like Daddy!'

Although the handbag slung over Boywonder's shoulder was small on an adult, it was quite large next to him, looking much like Mr T's large side bag does when he goes to work.

So next time Mr T worries that too many females are affecting Boywonder's masculinity, I will remind him that his handbag is bigger than mine!

Imaginative Play 2

Boywonder and Tomboy's imaginative play just became a little more interesting. Tomboy was sitting on my rowing machine (they sit on it more than I do, but that's another story) pretending to drive Batman's car. She bellowed for Boywonder to come and join her in the car, but he preferred to watch television. 

Frustrated with Boywonder's lack of interest, Tomboy realised that she needed something to tempt Boywonder, so her next shout was, 'Bill and Ben are in Batman's car too. Do you want to drive with them?'

Bill and Ben are Boywonder's best friends from kindergarten and he knew they weren't here in our house or in Tomboy's imagined Batman car, but he leapt from his seat and raced to the rowing maching.

'Cool, when did you pick Bill and Ben up?' he asked Tomboy before climbing onto the back of the rowing machine. Of course he was careful not to stand or sit on Bill and Ben.

I can't help but be amazed at the boundaries they apply to their imagined games. Is it okay to add someone to your imaginary car if your playmate approves of the added passengers? 

I suppose it's not much different to the rules we impose on a game of beach cricket or catch and kiss. Who wouldn't change the rules just a little if chasing down Wentworth Miller, Will Smith or Brad Pitt for a kiss?

Imaginative Play

I always thought that the beautiful thing about imaginative play was that you could change the game to suit your needs or desires.  Well, that’s how it was when I was a child, but it seems that Boywonder and Tomboy play by different rules when their imagination drives their games.

I was drawn to the lounge room by the sounds of Tomboy screaming, where I found Boywonder running in circles around the room with both arms outstretched in front of him and a  ‘I’m really annoying my sister this time’ smile on his face.

Running behind him, screaming and crying as she tried desperately to catch him, was Tomboy.

‘What’s going on?’ I yelled over the top of Tomboy’s din.

‘He won’t let me get in his car!’ she wailed.

Instead of bursting his bubble by imagining her own car, getting in it and driving off, she was chasing after him, insisting on riding in his imaginary car. Maybe it was more about the power of getting him to stop and let her in the car; I don’t know. What I do know is that children don’t simply change the rules of their imaginary games to suit their wants/needs.

As Boywonder showed me one day, imaginary games are much more fun when you challenge yourself with them. He had set the garden chairs up in a line and made Mr T sit in the back seat, so Boywonder could drive him around. They visited the fish and chip shop and were on their way to pick up Boywonder’s imaginary friend. He jumped out of his driver’s seat and ran into the cubby. When he re-emerged he was holding hands with imaginary Sam and saying, ‘come on, it’s time to go.’

As Boywonder walked towards the garden-chair car, he suddenly stopped and looked around like he’d lost something.

‘What have you lost?’ I asked.

‘Where’d he go?’ replied Boywonder.

‘Who?’

‘Sam!’

Yep, apparently it’s possible to lose invisible, imaginary friends. After thirty seconds of searching for his lost friend, Boywonder found Sam and returned to the car, where Mr T was waiting.

And don’t think Mr T didn’t get involved in the imaginary play. He was reminding Boywonder to secure his seat belt and then leaning into the corners as Boywonder drove them home again. 

I’m glad I caught it all on video!

New Words – Opportation

Boywonder is excited about his upcoming birthday party at McDonald's. I was advised to invite a child per year of age, but keeping it at five isn't easy when he plays with more than half his kinder class. 

Out of the blue yesterday Boywonder asked me when we were doing the opportations. It took me ten minutes of rolling this word around my tongue trying to determine what word he had intended to come out of his mouth. In the end I gave up and started quizzing him for more information. I finally realised that he was referring to his party invitations.

We have since included opportation into our new word dictionary. 

Opportation – The opportunity to gain an invitation.

Wobble or Wibble

Tomboy was again sinking her teeth into a not so sweet orange when she shuddered.

'What was that?' I asked.

'This orange makes me wibble,' was the reply.

Embarrassing Emails

Mr T took a few weeks off work to give me a chance to rest and then work out which activities fatigued me. It was imperative to create a new routine that enabled me to manage my CFS when home alone with three children under five. Having a laptop and desktop computer meant Mr T could check his emails without interrupting me, but having his email arriving in the inbox on the desktop and laptop computers caused a bit of confusion.

Both of us were busy tapping away on our computers, I at the desk and he on the lounge with the laptop, when I had a sudden urge to send him a loving email. I sent a red ‘I LOVE YOU’ in the largest font possible to him.  As soon as he received it, he sent back, ‘I love you more’ in the normal size font with extra large ‘XXXX’ after it; his way of trumping my large letters.

I couldn’t top this so I sent back, ‘I’m pretending I didn’t see that!’

Our loving email exchange should have finished there, but I forgot that all emails that I sent to Mr T, were also received in the inbox on the computer I was using. As soon as I saw, ‘I’m pretending I didn’t see that!’ I thought he was mocking me, so I replied, ‘Go away, I’m trying to work! I love you.’

Yep, I’d just answered my own email.  And if that wasn’t embarrassing enough, I also replied to my ‘Go away…’ email with ‘You are so getting smacked when I’ve finished.’

Mr T found this highly amusing when he discovered I was answering my own emails!

I blamed it on the CFS.

Word of the Month – Wobble

Every now and then I hear a word that sounds and/or evokes feeling in tune with its meaning. I thought I'd share these words with everyone by introducing a word of the month, if for nothing more than to provide a short post when I'm lost for words or busy fighting CFS symptoms.

Tomboy brought 'wobble' to my attention last week.

She bit into a sour orange and said, 'This orange makes me wobble!'